Peace Workshop to Help Kids Cope in a Stressful World

As parents, we try to shield our children from violence and turmoil in the news, but inevitably, whether they see it on television or feel it when our lives get hectic, kids seem to be affected by stress on some level from an early age.  It feels impossible to avoid the feeling of being rushed and certainly not all days can be spent quietly in the house.  However, just as we find ways as adults to insulate ourselves, we can teach our children ways to cope in what can sometimes be an overwhelming world.

"Peaceful Brooke" by Amy McCartney

Parent Talk is planning a Peace Workshop designed for this purpose.  Together with early childhood specialist, Ingrid Dahlin-Doherty from Wellesley Tree House, we will use yoga, music and art to inspire little ones to feel and understand a sense of peace.  Children will listen to music, sing songs and learn a few yoga poses.  They will make an art project to take home and will participate in a collaborative mural that will be used to decorate the Parent Talk Playspace.

"Sam's first downward-facing dog" by Quinn Dombroski

The Parent Talk Peace Workshop takes place Saturday, March 12, 2016 from 3:30-5:00.  It will be held in Room 215 at the Caryl Community Center in Dover.  Come join us and reserve your space by signing up at Eventbrite. 


About the Author
Liza D'Hemecourt is the Community Relations Chair for Parent Talk, following her previous role as Blog Coordinator.  She taught kindergarten and first grade before becoming a stay-at-home mom in Needham to her two children. 

Finding Balance is a Work in Progress for SAHM

Here's how I pictured life as a stay-at-home mom.  The coffee machine switches on, and the cozy smell of caffeine wafts into my bedroom waking me up.  I go from room to room, collecting my children.  I serve them breakfast while we laugh together.  We spend our mornings at a My Gym class, our afternoons with friends, and our evenings as a family, perhaps snuggled together watching a movie.

"Ridge's Food for infants and invalids" by Boston Public Library

Are you cry-laughing at me yet?

As you can imagine, my first year of motherhood was a SHOCK.  There was nothing to talk about with my infant over breakfast -- caffeinated or not.  My Gym classes were weekly, not daily, and I had completely forgotten about the whole two or three naps a day problem.  Afternoons with friends would be great, if those friends didn't have to stay home with their own napping children.  And when my husband came home from work, what I wanted -- no, needed -- was a break from my needy little sidekick and a chance to get things done for the first time all day.

When my second baby was born only fifteen months later, I realized how wrong my expectations had been.  I also realized that I didn't have to change my stay-at-home status to improve my outlook.  I just had to change my expectations, and I did that by recognizing some crucial things about myself.

"tired mom" by Dragan

I FOUND THE RIGHT LEVEL OF SOCIALIZING FOR ME

Ideally, I would start every day with a hot mug and a long chat (to my husband's dismay).  I need very little alone time, but I have close friends who do just fine when housebound for an entire week.  When I stopped trying to be more like them, and instead found ways to meet my individual needs (e.g., catch-up phone calls during drop-offs, side-by-side Stairmasters at the gym, kid-free dinners with playgroup moms), I started to find the balance that I needed.

I KEEP MY BRAIN MOVING

Leaving my teaching job behind to become a SAHM did not meaning turning off my intellect like a switch, but I didn't know where to find intellectual stimulation outside of work.  Needham and its neighboring towns are overflowing with astoundingly smart people.  Finding fellow parents who read interesting books or were engaged in their careers or passionate about volunteer work was something that happened organically.  I also dabbled in tutoring and curriculum writing at different points between newborns.  Now that I am officially done with babies, I'm researching for a book that my dad and I plan to write together.  I have realized that flexing my mental muscle needs to be a core part of my life, even if I have to work to find opportunities.

"Woman reading newspapaers in Close Hall, The University of Iowa, 1920s" by Iowa Digital Library

I FOUND WHAT REALLY RELAXES ME

For my husband, relaxation means massage, but that feels a little too unproductive for me (I know, I have a problem).  One of my close friends processes her thoughts on long runs.  That's not me, either.  Other fellow moms unwind with a glass of wine.  Although I like to drink with my girlfriends, solo pinot doesn't have the same effect for me.

I discovered that the things that relax me are reading escapist novels (Elin Hilderbrand's are a current favorite), watching offbeat comedies on Netflix in bed, and basically doing anything with my friends (I have some excellent friends!).  Now that I know my list of relaxing things, I can try to fit a little of each into every week.  I'm always also on the lookout for additional de-stressing activities.

"keep cool on the swimming pool" by Julien Haler

I DON'T HAVE TO ENJOY EVERY MINUTE

I have worked in publishing, test prep, high schools and middle schools, and never in any of those jobs have I been told to savor every moment.  But in my job as a parent, I feel this constant undercurrent of expectation.  People say, "Whenever you are at the end of your tether, take a deep breath and remember how fast it all goes."  You know what?  I have tried that.  While it did nothing for relieving my anger, it sure made me feel guilty about being angry.  Helpful!

After reading the nine millionth HuffPo article purporting to teach parents something new about gratitude, while feeling shamed for not "stopping to smell the roses" as my toddlers wrote on walls and swallowed barrettes and head-butted me for picking out the wrong sweatpants, I had enough.  I am doing THE BEST I CAN.  That should be good enough.  My kids are going to be JUST FINE.

"Playdate" by Ian Brown

Some of my initial fantasy has come true.  I do have my hot cup of caffeine on most mornings . . . but it's usually not until after the round of drop-offs.  My kids and I see our friends at sports, playdates, impromptu pizza parties and in all sorts of ways, foreseen or unforeseen.  With five kids under eight years of age, my house has become our very own My Gym, with no monthly fees!

I do have to work hard to find my balance, and the balance will continue to change.  It may not always be roses, but my constant efforts have always been worth the reward (so far!).


About the Author
Joanna Noon is a Brookline native who loves living in Needham with her husband and five children.  She worked in education before becoming a stay-at-home mom.  Joanna is a longtime member of Parent Talk and is excited to serve on the Parent Talk Board as Membership Co-Chair.

Making New Year's Resolutions for the Entire Family

Some people think that New Year's resolutions are doomed to failure.  But statistics show that making resolutions can be effective in moving you closer to your goals.  Why not make setting New Year's resolutions a time for reflection and a family tradition? 

"Resolving to Write More - a Worthy Thought" by Carol VanHook

Every family member can put forth a few ideas for both personal and family improvement.  To keep it positive, reflect on things achieved along with what needs improvement.  Keep resolutions few and simple for younger kids, and make sure resolutions are realistically achievable.   Anticipate hurdles and strategize in advance about how to deal with them.  Write out goals (for the littlest ones, use pictures) where the whole family can see them, and create a chart measuring progress toward practicing a new habit. 

There are unlimited resolutions that one can undertake, but below are five that families can do together, and the ways to go about them.

1.  GET FIT TOGETHER

Take a simple stroll to school or around the neighborhood together.  Incorporate a family stroll into your dog walking routine. Plan a family hike.

"Walking/Strolling in the Cold" by Jim Larrison

Look for opportunities to be active together.  Make a list of national parks to visit, or in Massachusetts, Trustees of the Reservation lands.  Don't forget that Parent Talk offers retail discounts to gyms, dance classes, and other activities.  The Charles River YMCA provides kids with a supervised space to tumble and play while parents use the gym equipment in a room viewable through a window.  And if you attended PT's Preschool and Kindergarten Fair, you might have picked up a coupon to Energy Fitness which lets parents have a cardio workout for free while they watch their child's gym class through a glass wall.

Other creative, fun ideas I have come across include: (a) joining in a family game of hop scotch; (b) family play at the playground (as long as it is safe, climb up that climbing structure and slide down that slide!); (c) ice skating; (d) family swims; and (e) going on a treasure (scavenger) hunt.

2.  SCHEDULE MORE FAMILY TIME

"Give Thanks to Family" by OakleyOriginals

Eat together.  Nowadays, it is not uncommon for family members to eat at separate times because everyone has an individual schedule.  However, research shows that children of families that regularly eat together are less likely to get involved in substance use and physical violence when they become teenagers.  Make a commitment to dine in (or out!) together one or more days a week.

Be entertained together.  Put on some music, bring out a few board games, and have a weekly/monthly family game night. Pop the popcorn, and cozy up on the couch for a regularly scheduled family movie night.  Take a field trip together to a museum, park, or historic site.  Start a family hobby that is suitable for all ages.

"Chicken Cobb Salad" by Nan Palermo

3. START HEALTHIER EATING HABITS

Cook together.  Little ones love to mix and measure ingredients.  With lower fat and sodium content than restaurant food, home cooked meals can be healthier.   If, like me, you have not been in the practice of cooking, do a search for quick, easy five-star recipes and try them out one or more times a week.  Your cooking will get more efficient over time and you will soon have a few quick go-to recipes to choose from!

Include a vegetable and/or fruit with every meal. Frozen and canned options that are low in fat and sodium can help create a balanced meal given a time crunch.

Prepare healthier snacks (like cut fruits and vegetables) in advance and keep the refrigerator stocked with them.

4.  BE A GOOD NEIGHBOR

Once a week, have your family select a person to give special attention.  Bake cookies, send a handwritten card, help with shoveling snow or other chore, and take some time to provide a listening ear.

"who stole the cookie. . ." by Kiran Foster

Volunteer together.  Visit a senior with a meal and bring some cheer to shut-ins.  The whole family can help at Spread the Bread or a homeless shelter or soup kitchen (but check for minimum age requirements).  If going onsite to the location is not an option, find a church or other community organization that sponsors such efforts to which you can contribute.  There may be a coat or clothing drive for the homeless at which your family can drop off donations.

Discuss with your kids the idea of donations, and find something to donate. It is not for everyone, but  kidscangivetoo.com is an interesting option that asks kids to have guests donate money instead of giving a traditional birthday gift.  The donations are then split between the birthday boy or birthday girl and the charity of his or her choice.

5.  UNPLUG

Have everyone take a break from screen time and cell phones a couple of hours a day or week, or one or more days a month (whichever you can handle!).  Reducing kids' screen time can help avoid associated risks of sleeplessness, problems of attention, anxiety and depression, and obesity.

I hope you counted many successes and celebrations in 2015.  Here's to finding many more of them (with a little resolve) in 2016!


About the Author
Darlene W. Cancell is an attorney turned stay-at-home mom, and most recently, blog coordinator for Parent Talk.





Sources

1. http://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/En/News/NewsAndFeatures/Pages/Family-New-Years-resolutions-Top-five.aspx

2. http://www.parents.com/holiday/new-years/resolution/8-ways-to-help-kids-make-new-years-resolutions/

3. https://uk.style.yahoo.com/new-year-resolutions-for-the-family.html

Limiting Pesticides in Summer Fruits and Vegetables

Now is the time to enjoy the fresh offerings of summer --  shining dark cherries, juicy peaches, buttered corn, sugary sweet melons, crisp bell peppers and lots and lots of berries, to name a few.  As parents, we want to make sure that our kids eat as healthily and nutritiously as possible.

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For many years now, from my past life as a vegetarian to my current days as an omnivore, the vast majority of produce that I have brought into my home has been organic.  Although this preference has resulted in significantly higher costs than buying conventional produce, I believed that doing so would make me healthier, by limiting my pesticide and chemical intake.

Recently, I was surprised to learn that the USDA organic label does not, in fact, completely disallow the use of pesticides.  Instead, what typically sets organic produce apart from conventional produce is not whether pesticides are used, but how the pesticides are made. The USDA organic label allows the use of naturally derived pesticides. Conventionally grown produce is treated with synthetic pesticides.

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Along with the small shock of this discovery, however, I was glad to find that my years of higher grocery bills were not completely for naught. Organic food has been found to be associated with:

• Lower levels of pesticides than conventional produce.
• Higher levels of antioxidants than conventionally grown produce.
• Production methods that are thought to be more ecologically friendly than conventional food production.

I tend to think, though, that what may be most important in the end is that our families eat a balanced diet. This can be provided either by conventional or organic foods. 

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The pesticides used in conventional produce generally should not exceed government safety thresholds. That said, I also think there is nothing wrong with parents wanting to give their families a diet at the lowest end of the spectrum for what the government considers acceptable pesticide ingestion.

So, what can be done by parents seeking to further limit their families’ exposure to pesticides? 

• Consider growing your own fruits and vegetables.  
• Wash fruits and vegetables under running water and discard outer leaves and skins. Learn more here.
• Be familiar with the "Dirty Dozen."
• Eat food from different sources to limit exposure to any one pesticide.
• Buy locally at Farmers' Markets.

At local farm stands, consumers can personally ask growers what production methods they use.  Asking, “How frequently is your produce sprayed with pesticides?”  and “What type of pesticide do you use?” can inform a purchase.  Local growers may also be more responsive in taking their consumers’ concerns directly into account when considering which production methods to use.

Aside from the issue of pesticides, families may simply be interested in helping to support local growers. Below are links to local farm stands and farmers’ markets.

Dedham Farmers Market (open Wednesdays)

Needham Farmers Market (open Sundays)

Newton Farmers Market (two locations – one open Tuesdays, one open Saturdays)

Powisset Farm Stand (open Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays)

Volante Farms (open daily)

Wellesley Farmers Market (open Saturdays)

Westwood Farmers Market (open Tuesdays)

Lastly, for those who want to help bring the fresh fruits of summer to everyone’s table, there are volunteer opportunities.

One organization, Boston Area Gleaners, collects after-harvest leftovers from local farms to distribute to over 500 hunger-relief organizations in eastern Massachusetts. Gleaning is the ancient practice, dating at least as far back as Biblical times, of collecting the surplus left in farmers’ fields. This group invites volunteers aged 13 and up to help glean the fields of numerous eastern Massachusetts farms.

About the Author

Darlene W. Cancell is an attorney turned stay-at-home mom, and most recently blog coordinator for Parent Talk.

If you have comments or an experience to share related to this blog, please speak up!

5 tips to stay on track with your New Year's fitness resolutions

Please welcome Jen Dehestani, ACSM Certified Personal Trainer at JFit 360°, who shares some great tips on keeping up with your New Year's fitness resolutions. Look for a special auction item from JFit 360° at the Go Green Party, plus a discount for Parent Talk members.

1) Buddy up 

Odds are you have some friends who have the same New Year’s resolutions as you, becoming more fit and healthy. Buddy up with one, preferably one you really like ;) and workout together.  By working out with a friend, you will chat and laugh, and time will fly by with both of you forgetting how hard you’re working.  The buddy system is a great tool for motivation and accountability; if your friend is meeting you at 6:30am for that run, no way you will leave her hanging (again, you can see why selecting a friend who you really like is key)!

2) Create an inspiration board 

Create an inspiration board that is all YOU to help remind you of your goals.  Every time you look at it you will be reminded of your goals and that a lot of small changes add up to big ones.

 Here are some easy tips for designing yours:

•  Look through magazines and online for images, quotes and power words that speak to you.
•  Don’t make your board too wordy and busy, aim to keep it crisp and clean so that each time you look at it the messages are crystal clear and easily identified.
•  Place your board in a spot where you will see it often without having to go digging it out (i.e., on your refrigerator door, in a frame on your coffee table, over your kitchen sink or in your workout area at home).

Here's the inspiration I created that's on my refrigerator door. 

 Get creative, have fun with it and stay motivated…pretty soon you’ll be adding a photo of yourself looking smoking hot in your bikini onto that inspiration board! 

3) Let technology help

My favorite technology when it comes to fitness and diet is called MyFitnessPal.You can log in from your computer or add it as an app on your smartphone – and it’s FREE.  Want to lose 10lbs? Plug your stats and weight loss goals into the program and away you go. The app logs your daily food intake along with your exercise to keep you on track, providing you with a net calorie amount. Technology never looked so good, and neither have you!

4) Don't let the cold weather get you down

The weather this winter has been brutally cold.  Sometimes the thought of bundling up with 5 layers, boots, hats and gloves, is not as appealing as staying inside your nice n’ toasty house with your slippers on.  This is where you have to dig deep and what’s that Nike tag line??...Oh yeah “Just Do It”!  You will thank yourself come summer when your thighs are less thunder and more lightning.

5) Variety is the spice of life

It's a fact of life; if you get bored of something, the harder it becomes to motivate to continuing doing it.  If you do the same workout day in and day out, the boredom factor will inevitably set in. Keep things interesting and keep the boredom at bay by mixing up your workouts.  Go for a run one day, take some yoga, do a spin class, workout with a trainer (wink wink). The key to being fit is consistency, and variety keeps you moving and burning those calories. 

About the Author

Jen Dehestani, ACSM Certified Personal Trainer at JFit 360° .

Get Fit From Every Angle with JFit 360's in-home personal training! Receive 40% off all training packages as a Parent Talk member! The personal trainers of JFit 360 provide you with highly customized programs brought directly to you in the comfort and convenience of your own home.  One-on-one training as well as small group training is available.  For more information, contact us at info@jfit360.com or call (508) 333-4887.  Visit us at jfit360.com

Thank you to JFit 360°  for donating an auction item for the Go Green Party. Check them out to learn more about their personal training services and more.

Stress Less This Holiday Season

Hi Moms! My name is Danielle Shea Tan, Certified Health Coach and Founder of Healthy Mamas for Happy Families.  Parent Talk was kind enough to invite me to write a guest blog post about how we as moms can reduce the stress that comes with the holiday season. I hope my tips help you – please enjoy!

For many of us busy moms, the holidays are bittersweet. The sparkling decorations, the joyful celebrations, the thoughtful gifts and delicious meals are all reason to feel smitten with the holidays. But, every mom can attest that sheer madness occurs to make these memories so beautiful. The shopping, cleaning, planning, prepping, schlepping, smiling, driving, dressing, and eating can be endless – and downright tiresome! I’m here to tell you - it is POSSIBLE to enjoy the holidays without the burnout.

To make your holidays more joyful, you need a plan for lowering your stress. It’s got to be a simple, practical plan that you can commit to.. Let me take you through three simple steps for creating your plan so by the end of this article you’ll be glowing with excitement for the holiday fun to arrive.

Step 1: Remind yourself how you reduce daily stress. What works for you personally?

Knowledge is power. If you already know your body and which activities successfully reduce your stress levels then you’re way ahead of the game If you aren’t sure of what works, here are a few activities that are proven to reduce stress:

• Exercise (even just 10 minutes)
• Breathing/meditation practice
• Being in nature (or looking at images of nature)
• Laughing
• Eating foods that reduce stress (like magnesium-rich nuts or folate-rich avocados) Check out this article for more details on eating edible seeds. 

Step 2: Ask yourself which holiday activities are the most stressful and the least joyful for you. What are 1-2 things you can do differently?

Some of these activities like spending time with your rude Uncle Charlie are unavoidable. But, are there any stress-inducing holiday responsibilities that you do have control over? For me, it was the shopping that caused me serious stress. I love to shop and I love the holiday spirit that envelopes you at the mall, but the crowds, the lines, the bright lights and loud music make it very stressful for me. I realized this a couple of years ago and have switched to shopping almost 100% online. Here are some ideas for how to make some stress-reducing holiday responsibilities a little less stressful:

• Shopping – Skip the malls and buy online.
• Wrapping – Pay to have your gifts wrapped online or at the mall (it’s usually a non-profit donation!
• Cooking – Start making double and freezing any soups or sauces now. This way you’ll have pre-made dinners to rely during the week when you need to start prepping for a big holiday meal. 
• Decorating – Divide your decorations into what’s required to make the house feel cozy and spirited and what’s a nice to have.  Start by only putting up the required decorations, then if you get around to it, you can add more later on. 

Step 3: Schedule your simple plan in your calendar now.

When we’re truly committed to something, we schedule it in our calendars - a work deadline, a family activity, a date night. Commit to 1-2 simple stress-reducing activities each week and mark it in your calendar today. Remember to make it simple and easy to commit to considering all the extra holiday responsibilities. For example, if exercise is your relief, commit to two workouts a week or 15 min/day instead of your typical workout routine.  Finally, pick the one activity that is the least joyful for you and commit to getting it off your plate or taking a different approach that makes it less stressful.

Now that you’ve committed, tell us in the comments your plan for reducing stress this holiday season.

For more information on my nutrition and lifestyle coaching services for busy parents and to receive a free gift to further enhance your healthy lifestyle, visit www.healthymamasforhappyfamilies.com. Use the savings code “healthymama15” to receive 15% off any of my programs through December 31, 2013. In the meantime, you can also follow me on my blog, Facebook and Pinterest.

Join the Healthy Happy Holiday Challenge (we start later this week!). http://www.healthymamasforhappyfamilies.com/healthy-happy-holiday-challenge.html

It's only $37 because I want to motivate moms to participate and join in on the fun! 

About the Author

Danielle Shea Tan is a certified health coach who helps busy moms and their families nurture healthy habits and face nutritional and lifestyle challenges with an upbeat attitude and manageable solutions. Danielle's on a mission to change what parents believe about their families’ day-to-day ills—from stomachaches to fatigue, inability to concentrate to constipation. While most parents grasp for answers to these issues, like age or stage, Danielle believes that the majority of these issues can be solved FOREVER through small tweaks to diet and lifestyle. Her goal is to set families up for healthy futures where they feel great.

photo credit: orangebrompton via photopin cc

One Mom’s Journey: A Lesson in Love, Life, and Loss

Written by Jodi Rooney

The fairytale starts here…

When I signed up to be a mom, I signed up for the fairytale version. I wanted an uneventful pregnancy, a quick natural childbirth, a typical stay in the hospital, baby next to me the entire time. What I got was quite different. If you ask me now, if I knew then what I know now, would I still have become a mom, the answer is an unequivocal YES. But honestly, I would have done certain things a bit differently.

The fairytale started in 2005, when we were actively trying to conceive. It only took two months and we had ourselves a “bun in the oven.” The typical symptoms of pregnancy took hold and the first three months were filled with varying emotions and nausea. The next six months were wonderful. My once girly figure gave way to a beautiful bump that I wouldn’t trade for the world. Ending my 37th week, I awoke in full labor. The baby was coming and there was nothing I could do. Six hours later my little girl was under the bright lights of the delivery room, being checked to ensure she was unaffected by a meconium-filled sac. Deep breath, she was ok.

A day and a half later, the “not what I had expected” started. My daughter was admitted to the NICU for observation for fear of dehydration and some possible obscure genetic defect. All ended well, and my daughter came home after a 2-day NICU stay – happy and healthy. We were a little worse for wear, but we had our beautiful daughter.

Fast forward to 18 months later (2007). Pregnant again. Bring on the extreme morning sickness, twice as bad as my first. I told myself I can get through it all, I really can. We were going to have 2 kids, just like we planned. I was happy. January 2008’s ultrasound confirmed differently. We were going to add not one, but two kids to our current family dynamic.

Secretly, I always wanted to have twins. There was something so unique about it. Though it had a rocky start, my fairytale was going to continue. Shocked when we heard the news from the ultrasound technician, I was also very excited. What follows is NOT what was supposed to happen. It changed my life forever and the reason why I became involved in Parent Talk’s Caring Committee, the March of Dimes, and partnering with another Parent Talk mom to start a Pre-, Peri-, and Neo-natal Loss Yahoo! Group.

The fairytale ends here…

Two months after finding out the big news, I was placed on bed rest for premature thinning of my cervix. Two weeks later – five days after my daughter turned two – I was rushed to Brigham and Women’s for what was to be an emergency c-section to deliver my sons at 25 weeks and two days gestation. For me, I was delivered into my own personal hell. I couldn’t even image what my husband was going through at the time, watching as all this played out in front of him.

My sons, later learned to be identical, laid still in the NICU weighing in at 1 pound, 15 ounces each. Hooked up to an unimaginable number of tubes and wires, they were no longer in the safe haven of my belly. I was no longer in control.

Doctors, nurses, tests, and more tests – the first two days after the birth were a war zone. We were dodging the bullets of extreme prematurity. But it wouldn’t last long. The mother of all bombs exploded right in front of our faces. We were told that Baby B (second of the boys to be born, and whom we named Brendan) had a Grade 4 brain bleed, perforated lungs, and a failing heart. Chances of survival were slim. Quality of life if he did survive? Very poor. Two parents faced with a decision no parent should ever have to make. I won’t go into any of the extreme details of how we knew what decision to make, but we trusted our hearts. On Brendan’s fourth day of life we held our baby boy until he took his last breath. At that moment, the normal in my life was no longer. I was faced with grieving for my lost son and the trials of helping my other son survive the next few months all the while ensuring my 2-year-old was getting what she needed.

“It takes a village…” comes to mind at this moment. If not for the support system we had created since moving to the area, we would not have weathered this storm as well as we did. Enter in family, friends, and Parent Talk. Food was delivered to our door, gift cards for local restaurants around the hospital were sent to us in the mail, and an outpouring of love and prayer from all we knew (and didn’t know). It was about two months into this new journey that I realized I needed to do something positive with this horrifying experience.

The fairytale is rewritten…

After 100 days in two NICUs and almost a year of isolation (for fear of RSV or other illnesses that could be transmitted to my son, Leo), I was able to really start processing all that had happened. I was able to ask myself: “How could I best give back to the community that has helped my family,” “What can I do to help others in similar situations,” and “What can I do with the resources I currently have to make a small difference in the lives of others.” The answers came to me very easily. The answers even helped me to see that I need not do this alone. My resilient family can be a part of this too. What better way to teach my children the gift of giving then by getting them involved in the cause.

Parent Talk Caring Committee

It was a friend who got the ball rolling and involved Parent Talk’s Caring Committee in supporting our family. At first it was only to help while I was on bed rest and maybe after the boys were born. I figured I would be out of commission for a few weeks and then everything would go back to “normal.” Little did I know a few weeks turned into a few months and nothing was normal about it. Through the use of a website, dinners were delivered to our door two to three times a week for more than two months. It was a blessing not to have to think about dinner when I was spending most of my day in the NICU with my son. Once back on my feet, I joined the committee and volunteer to provide meals to others who could use a little love during a stressful time. To join the committee, visit Lotsahelpinghands.

March of Dimes, March for Babies

I used to think “folic acid” when I thought of the March of Dimes (MOD). In college I participated in “Walk America” as a community project for my sorority. Little did I know that MOD would one day save my son’s life.

In Leo’s case, the MOD gave him the drug surfactant to strengthen his undeveloped lungs. In other cases, the MOD gives babies: the PKU test (an inherited condition that can cause mental retardation if left untreated); testing for over 40 inborn metabolic disorders; a newborn hearing screening; access to a NICU; and access to sonograms and ultrasounds, an innovation pioneered by March of Dimes.

On May 12, 2012 my family will participate in our fourth walk together and I am thrilled to help lead a group of families to walk in the name of Parent Talk. Click here to join the team.

Pre-, Peri-, Neo-natal Loss Group

We are out there, but we blend in with our surroundings. Our pain is hidden deep in our hearts. Our losses are unique, yet we all have lost a future we held near and dear to our hearts. We talk about our loss only when we feel it is safe to do so and with those who are truly willing to hear our pain. We look for the comfort of knowing we are not alone. The first few days in the NICU after Brendan’s death, I truly thought I was alone. It took weeks to learn that I was not. There are many in Parent Talk who have faced miscarriage, stillbirth, and newborn death, whether it be a singleton or multiples. Parent Talk has established an online Yahoo group for those who have experienced a pre-, peri- or neo-natal loss or for those who know someone who has experienced a loss and want to learn more about how they can support the family. To learn more or join the group, visit us here.

The somewhat “Happily ever after”…

It will be four years this April since the start of this unexpected journey my family has taken. For most of my life I was a believer that things do happen for a reason, we just need to wait it out, whether it takes days, months, or years, until the reason presents itself. I lost that belief when the boys were born and Brendan was taken from me. How could his death and such an early birth have any purpose in my life? It was just cruel and unjust. Four years later, I can say that the early birth and death has given my life new meaning and direction. It has opened doors I never saw myself walking through. And I am grateful. Grateful for the new friends I have met, the grieving parents I have supported, and the idea that I can make a difference, even a small one, in the life of another person.

To help reach our fundraising goal of $3,000, Parent Talk, a Needham-based non-profit organization, is combining forces every Tuesday in April with Not Your Average Joes Needham to fundraise for Parent Talk’s March for Babies team. Patrons who eat at or take out from Not Your Average Joes in Needham, and show Parent Talk’s March for Babies flyer, will have 15% of their bill donated to the team. The printable flyer is located at www.scribd.com/doc/87740193/NYACause-ParentTalk

 

Join forces with Parent Talk and help support the March of Dimes by eating at or taking out from Not Your Average Joes Needham on any Tuesday in April. And don’t forget to print and bring the team flyer with you in order for Parent Talk’s team to earn 15% of your bill. To make a direct donation to Parent Talk’s March for Babies team, visit:

http://www.marchforbabies.org/team/t1709809.

Help me raise research funds to prevent prematurity.

 www.marchforbabies.org/jodirooney

 Join the Parent Talk Team Today: http://www.marchforbabies.org/team/t1709809

Jodi Rooney lives in Needham with her husband, 2 living children, and guardian angel. Jodi is an active member in Parent Talk and a member of the NICU Parent Advisory Group at Brigham and Women’s Hospital. She is also a member of Newton Wellesley’s Planning Committee for their yearly HEAL service – a remembrance service for families who have lost a baby.