Finding Balance is a Work in Progress for SAHM

Here's how I pictured life as a stay-at-home mom.  The coffee machine switches on, and the cozy smell of caffeine wafts into my bedroom waking me up.  I go from room to room, collecting my children.  I serve them breakfast while we laugh together.  We spend our mornings at a My Gym class, our afternoons with friends, and our evenings as a family, perhaps snuggled together watching a movie.

"Ridge's Food for infants and invalids" by Boston Public Library

Are you cry-laughing at me yet?

As you can imagine, my first year of motherhood was a SHOCK.  There was nothing to talk about with my infant over breakfast -- caffeinated or not.  My Gym classes were weekly, not daily, and I had completely forgotten about the whole two or three naps a day problem.  Afternoons with friends would be great, if those friends didn't have to stay home with their own napping children.  And when my husband came home from work, what I wanted -- no, needed -- was a break from my needy little sidekick and a chance to get things done for the first time all day.

When my second baby was born only fifteen months later, I realized how wrong my expectations had been.  I also realized that I didn't have to change my stay-at-home status to improve my outlook.  I just had to change my expectations, and I did that by recognizing some crucial things about myself.

"tired mom" by Dragan

I FOUND THE RIGHT LEVEL OF SOCIALIZING FOR ME

Ideally, I would start every day with a hot mug and a long chat (to my husband's dismay).  I need very little alone time, but I have close friends who do just fine when housebound for an entire week.  When I stopped trying to be more like them, and instead found ways to meet my individual needs (e.g., catch-up phone calls during drop-offs, side-by-side Stairmasters at the gym, kid-free dinners with playgroup moms), I started to find the balance that I needed.

I KEEP MY BRAIN MOVING

Leaving my teaching job behind to become a SAHM did not meaning turning off my intellect like a switch, but I didn't know where to find intellectual stimulation outside of work.  Needham and its neighboring towns are overflowing with astoundingly smart people.  Finding fellow parents who read interesting books or were engaged in their careers or passionate about volunteer work was something that happened organically.  I also dabbled in tutoring and curriculum writing at different points between newborns.  Now that I am officially done with babies, I'm researching for a book that my dad and I plan to write together.  I have realized that flexing my mental muscle needs to be a core part of my life, even if I have to work to find opportunities.

"Woman reading newspapaers in Close Hall, The University of Iowa, 1920s" by Iowa Digital Library

I FOUND WHAT REALLY RELAXES ME

For my husband, relaxation means massage, but that feels a little too unproductive for me (I know, I have a problem).  One of my close friends processes her thoughts on long runs.  That's not me, either.  Other fellow moms unwind with a glass of wine.  Although I like to drink with my girlfriends, solo pinot doesn't have the same effect for me.

I discovered that the things that relax me are reading escapist novels (Elin Hilderbrand's are a current favorite), watching offbeat comedies on Netflix in bed, and basically doing anything with my friends (I have some excellent friends!).  Now that I know my list of relaxing things, I can try to fit a little of each into every week.  I'm always also on the lookout for additional de-stressing activities.

"keep cool on the swimming pool" by Julien Haler

I DON'T HAVE TO ENJOY EVERY MINUTE

I have worked in publishing, test prep, high schools and middle schools, and never in any of those jobs have I been told to savor every moment.  But in my job as a parent, I feel this constant undercurrent of expectation.  People say, "Whenever you are at the end of your tether, take a deep breath and remember how fast it all goes."  You know what?  I have tried that.  While it did nothing for relieving my anger, it sure made me feel guilty about being angry.  Helpful!

After reading the nine millionth HuffPo article purporting to teach parents something new about gratitude, while feeling shamed for not "stopping to smell the roses" as my toddlers wrote on walls and swallowed barrettes and head-butted me for picking out the wrong sweatpants, I had enough.  I am doing THE BEST I CAN.  That should be good enough.  My kids are going to be JUST FINE.

"Playdate" by Ian Brown

Some of my initial fantasy has come true.  I do have my hot cup of caffeine on most mornings . . . but it's usually not until after the round of drop-offs.  My kids and I see our friends at sports, playdates, impromptu pizza parties and in all sorts of ways, foreseen or unforeseen.  With five kids under eight years of age, my house has become our very own My Gym, with no monthly fees!

I do have to work hard to find my balance, and the balance will continue to change.  It may not always be roses, but my constant efforts have always been worth the reward (so far!).


About the Author
Joanna Noon is a Brookline native who loves living in Needham with her husband and five children.  She worked in education before becoming a stay-at-home mom.  Joanna is a longtime member of Parent Talk and is excited to serve on the Parent Talk Board as Membership Co-Chair.

Give the Gift of Parent Talk

It's that time of year, and finding just the right presents for your loved ones can be challenging!  Did you know that you can give the gift of a Parent Talk membership?

For a friend, family member, neighbor or co-worker with kids, membership in PT will mean so many things -- access to museum passes, PT events, lectures, playgroups, retail discounts, community support and more.  You will also be giving the gift of memories-in-the-making.

Kids and parents alike enjoyed Elmo Story Time at Parent Talk's Playspace earlier this year.

Just email businessadministrator@parenttalk.info with "PT Gift Subscription" in the subject line.  You will receive an email response with a form to fill out with various payment options. Send in your reply and relax a little, knowing that at least one item on your gift list has been taken care of!

Along with shopping for gifts, another thing that typically happens at this time of year are requests for charitable donations.  And every year, you dig deep and give to a few good causes as budget allows, while you leave a bunch of remaining requests "for next year."  Parent Talk may have fallen into the second category of "maybe next year" giving.  But donating to Parent Talk need not take an extra penny out of your pocket.  

AmazonSmile will give 0.5% of the purchase price of qualified items to the charity of your choice.  When you think of all that Parent Talk has done to enrich the lives of you and your family, why not make PT your charitable choice?

At Parent Talk's annual Barn Babies event, children have an opportunity to hold and touch baby animals, such as at the duckling Touch Tank.

Just go to smile.amazon.com.  Under the search box at the top of the page, there is an option to change the supported charity. Choose Parent Talk, then shop as usual!  Your shopping experience will stay the same, including the price.  Well, one thing may change -- the added satisfaction that comes from making a contribution that supports PT!

About the author
Darlene W. Cancell is an attorney turned stay-at-home mom, and most recently, blog coordinator for Parent Talk.

Giving Thanks for My Parent Talk Village

"It takes a village to raise a child." - African proverb

My babies, Kiera and Padraig, in 2011.  Photo credit: J+R Photography 

I remember when the first wave of panic set in. My husband told me that he had a five day work trip right after we closed on our new Needham home. Images of eight-month pregnant me, sitting defeated on our living room couch next to our 21-month-old daughter, surrounded by countless unpacked moving boxes, filled my mind. Thankfully, my godmother from New Jersey swooped to the rescue and stayed with us that first week and helped me unpack. But it made me wonder, what had we done? Why did we move away from our village in New Jersey?

Moving had never been an issue for me before. I moved from Singapore to Illinois for college, then to New Jersey upon graduation, and then to Massachusetts for my husband’s work. But the move of merely 9.1 miles with 1.5 kids, from the South End in Boston to Needham, was terrifying. Aside from a few of my husband’s colleagues, we did not know anyone (or, technically speaking, I did not know anyone). Yes, people comforted me with, "You will meet people when your kids are in school." But how was I going to survive being isolated in the suburbs for the next three years before our firstborn entered kindergarten?

“You need to join Parent Talk,” my husband’s colleague’s wife stated matter-of-factly. So I did.

The 2-year-olds from our playgroup with friends, nicknamed the "Bigs," at Spooky Walk in 2011.

It was a slow introduction to Parent Talk, just because getting out of the house with two kids (a 2-year-old and an infant) by myself was almost impossible. So, as a start, we attended PT's family events (e.g., Frosty’s Festival, Story Time with Elmo) to maintain the critical one-to-one adult to kid ratio. Then, we graduated to the PT parenting lectures which gave us a few more tools to add to our parenting toolbox. And the YMCA discount for Parent Talk members was phenomenal! It pretty much made up for the membership fee, assuming we made it to the gym. And then we hit the jackpot -- Playgroup.

We were arbitrarily assigned to one of several playgroups based on our daughter’s age. This meant that we were coming into a playgroup that had started two years ago, and had grown to include 20 to 30 families. Not intimidating, right? But after I sent the initial awkward email introduction about our family, there was an immediate response. "Hello. Welcome to our playgroup. Like you, we are all in the trenches. It does get easier. We meet at the Playspace or Perry Park every Friday morning. Join us."

The "Bigs" a few years later with younger siblings, the "Littles," at Spooky Walk. in 2015.

The relief I felt was palpable. No pressure to host others, no pressure to attend every playgroup gathering. Come as you are, when you can. After my kids and I got into the swing of these weekly Friday playdates, an interesting thing happened. These were not just playdates for my kids, they became my playdates too.  

What an incredible group of moms, dads, caregivers and kids -- generous, kind, fun, creative, organized, intelligent, and honest. This group was a source for vacation ideas, contractor recommendations, recipe swaps, and sharing parenting ups and downs. This was group parenting at its best, as we exchanged candid and valuable information. We worked at Parent Talk Sales together, attended family events (Memorial Day Picnic at DeFazio Park, Spooky Walk), volunteered for meal trains, socialized at Moms’ Nights Out (and Away!), and there were even a few poker nights for dads. Through life’s best and worst moments, we have been there to support each other.

Mom's Night Away, Portland, Maine, 2015.

It has been a little over four years since our family moved to Needham. We honestly thought we would head back to New Jersey when the appropriate job opportunity for my husband came up in the New York or New Jersey area. The PT playgroup changed that trajectory. Our playgroup has morphed into our extended family. My husband and I no longer feel the need to move. We know in our hearts that Needham is home and this is where our family can grow roots. And it all started with Parent Talk.

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful to Parent Talk for helping me build my village.

About the author

Joyce McCafferty is an unexpected stay-at-home Needham mom. She is so glad that her husband chose to relocate to Needham because that one choice set into motion so many wonderful events


EDITOR'S NOTE: This Thanksgiving holiday is the perfect time to take a moment to consider and share all of the things we are thankful for. If you have your own story of gratitude for the Parent Talk village, an experience, PT's offerings, events, or anything else, please share it with us with the Comments section below. Or join us on on Facebook and Twitter, beginning your story with "I am thankful to Parent Talk for . . . " and tag it with #Thankful4PT.

Two Local Outdoor Gems for the Kids

We are approaching the long, lazy days of summer when schedules are less structured and we can trade time in front of the tv for precious moments running through sprinklers and chasing bugs. If you are looking for an outdoor adventure away from your backyard and local playgrounds, there are many options to choose among in our area. From shady trails through the woods to the neatly patterned rows of crops on a farm, there are exciting and interesting sites to behold that will nurture curiosity and force everyone to slow down and look closely at the wonders of summer while they last. Here is a snapshot of two beautiful spaces to visit with your little ones.

Broadmoor Wildlife Sanctuary

source

This wildlife sanctuary, which is part of the Mass Audubon Society, has over nine miles of trails. Broadmoor is located nearby at 280 Eliot Street in Natick and is the perfect place to burn off some energy outside where you can bring in some educational focus. By observing plants and wildlife that live in the different parts of the sanctuary, you'll be introducing your child to the concept of habitats. Some highlights of the area include beaver dams, nesting wood ducks and basking turtles! Walking through the forest can bring some much needed relief from the heat and you can talk about the different living things you see and compare them to the other parts of the trail such as the wetlands along the boardwalk. This is also a great way to practice skills like looking and listening while being very quiet and tip-toeing to have the best chance at spotting things like chipmunks and waterfowl. Nature walks also feed the imagination! I used to love pretending that fairies and gnomes were hiding among the moss and mushrooms on the forest floor only to come out and dance when no one was looking!

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Finally, be sure to tie in a quick lesson on respecting our natural environment. In order to maintain the beauty of the trails at Broadmoor and to ensure the safety of all the living things that call it home, they ask that people refrain from running, that they eat only in designated picnic areas and carry out all trash. Visitors are encouraged to bring plenty of water and to wear practical clothing and footwear.

Natick Community Organic Farm

This farm is definitely unlike any I had visited in the Massachusetts area. To say that it is off the beaten path would be an understatement; in fact, the only thing you will find to follow when you get there is a beaten dirt path that leads to the spaces where their various animals are housed. There is no prominent information desk to greet you because your visit is free. Don't expect any posted information aside from signs warning you not put your fingers in the rabbit cages. The reason for this is not that they are inhospitable but that this is a working farm, which gives it a level of authenticity and uniqueness that is refreshing because it is stripped of any commercial efforts (though there is an area where you can purchase organic produce from their many gardens!)

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I took my two and three year old here for a visit and felt as though time slowed down. Since there are no paved roads and because the area is so far set back from the actual road, I let my children wander. It was such an unusual feeling to be able to let my guard down somewhere outside of my own backyard. I couldn't help think about how the uneven ground and musty animal smells were so good for their senses. We looked in the barn and found a stall swarmed with fluffy chicks, then followed the path to the rabbit kennels and up toward the chicken coop and then to the pastures where goats and kids were grazing. Our favorite part was watching two enormous pigs fighting over the food scraps in one trough. We peeked through greenhouse windows to see the bright green seedlings all lined up, waiting to be planted in the freshly prepared rows of the nearby fields. Just observing the habits of these animals in this very rustic environment made the twenty minute drive well worth it.

Our guide, Heather, was extremely knowledgable and patient!

Of course, my kids wanted to do more than look at all these farm animals, so I inquired about group tours and organized a field trip for our playgroup. For $7 a child, with a minimum of six children, they will assign a teacher to your group and give you a guided tour of the farm. Our focus was on learning about and petting baby animals and aside from the challenge to follow their no running and no screaming rules---it was a huge success!

This mama cow was due to have her baby any day!

About the Author

Liza d'Hemecourt is the blog coordinator for Parent Talk. She formerly taught kindergarten and first grade and now stays home full time with her two children. Liza and her family live in Needham.

Play Space and Party Room Spruced Up and Available to Rent

A Parent Talk membership affords us with great community building opportunities and unites us as families with a common goal: to raise happy, healthy children while having fun and making friends in the process. You may already be taking advantage of the Yahoo message board to find a great painter/plumber/daycare etc. Maybe you have even been to one of the organized events like the trip this past week to Drumlin Farm, but did you know that we have a beautiful, large, clean space that you can rent for your next Halloween/birthday/playgroup or holiday gathering? It is down the hall from the Dover play space and just underwent a major face lift. As a ParentTalk member you can rent out the play space as well as the room next to it for a nominal fee. 

The newly tiled floors will make clean-up a snap!

The play space is an 1800 square foot indoor space at the Caryl Community Center in Dover, three miles from Needham Center. It is made for children age 5 and under to play, and features age appropriate toys and play structures to engage children's imaginations. The party room was renovated this summer, and the playspace is undergoing a big toy clean-out and replenishing in the next month. If you haven't been, now is the time to check it out in person to see all the changes.

The room next to the play space is room #215, and you are able to have food and drinks in this location. The space has been freshly painted, has a newly tiled floor, a wall to wall blackboard and windows! Bring your decorations and entertainment, or let the children play in the play space and move into the party room for cake. Tables and chairs are provided, and the room can hold parties both large and small. 

The blackboard provides a blank slate for your decorating ideas

At $75 for the rental the price cannot be beat. The play space is available for private rentals on Wednesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays, and only you and your guests will be able to access it during your event. There is even an Elmo costume available to rent for $30! 

To see when Parent Talk play space and party room are occupied click here

If you are interested in booking your party, please go to this page for further instructions.

Dates are booking fast for this fall, so don't wait and book yours today!

About the author:

About the Author:

Betsy Deitte is the Play Space Party Rental Coordinator. She and her family moved to the Broadmeadow are of Needham in 2012. Betsy is a former nurse who hung up her scrubs to take care of her three most important charges: Elise, age 4, Annabel age 2, and Elliot age 1.

Parent Talk's Reaction to the Loss of Isis Parenting

Written by Wendy Todd

If you live in the metro boston area and have children under age 10, unless you've been living under a rock you've heard the news that Isis Parenting announced very suddenly that it would be closing it's doors effective immediately last Wednesday.

My first reaction to this news was very personal - I was in total shock and then began to take a walk down memory lane, sifting through pictures from my Great Beginnings class in early 2007 and my second time moms class from spring of 2011.  As it has for so many of us, Isis served as the outlet I needed to get out of the house and connect in those hazy early days of motherhood, when I wasn't quite sure if I was up to the task of keeping another human being alive for the next 18 years.  Like many of you I forged lifelong friendships both for myself and for my kids, by walking through those doors in 2007. 

Now, as a few days have passed and an influx of information has begun to hit our inboxes, I realize that as an organization, Parent Talk also has a reaction to the news of Isis closing. We had a long-standing relationship with Isis, and so many of our members also took classes, shopped or otherwise leaned on Isis during the early years of parenthood.  They were part of our community and we hate to see them go.

In the coming days, weeks and months as you may be searching for options to fill the void left by Isis closing, Parent Talk offers the following resources:

Our Yahoo! Group - Any information that we get about other local entities offering discounts or make-up classes to folks that were currently enrolled in a class at Isis will be posted to our Yahoo! Group.  We encourage members of the Parent Talk community to also post information they are aware of on the same string.  For more information on the Yahoo! Group: http://www.parenttalk.info/members/offerings/online-discussion-group.php

Our Facebook Page - similarly we will post information that we received about discounts or make-up classes for folks that were currently enrolled in a class at Isis. We encourage members of the Parent Talk community to also post information they are aware of on our Facebook Page as well. Parent Talk's facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/ParentTalk

Our Playgroups - While not a facilitated playgroup like the Great Beginnings or Next Step classes at Isis, Parent Talk's play groups are a great resource to connect with other parents of similarly aged children: http://www.parenttalk.info/members/groups/playgroups.php

Our Adventure at Kidville in Wellesley

Written by Emily Roach

As the assortment of kid's activity places around Needham continues to change, I was excited to learn more about Kidville in Wellesley. They recently opened in the space formerly occupied by Rugged Bear in Wellesley Square. There is a mix of studio space for classes, a large gym, plus a small retail assortment. While your kids are in class, you can pick up a couple of birthday presents!

Our first stop was at the Rockin' Railroad. This is one of their signature classes and it's offered for a wide range of ages, up to age 5. I attended a class with a mix of ages, which is great for a parent looking for an option for siblings. My little guy enjoyed the variety of the class, including puppets, dancing, story time,  drums and bubbles. The music was a little loud to start, but seemed fine once everyone warmed up a little. I liked the space where the class was held, there is one well placed window that allows natural light in from the entryway. It made if feel less box-like than some other music classes I have attended. 

Next up was a test run at the open gym, along with 15 other families from my Parent Talk Playgroup. The gym is average size and we filled the room with all the littles and moms together. Thankfully no one ran into each other as there were enough activity stations to keep kids separate. The long trampoline was probably the biggest hit. 

You do need to be a member to use the open gym. However, there will be some "Shop and Play" events happening where if you spend $20 in the retail boutique, you can play for free. Follow the Kidville Wellesley Facebook page to get updates on when the events are available. 

Kidville offers a variety of classes including Rockin' Railroad, sports-oriented classes like baseball, dance, gymnastics and soccer, and art classes. The sessions are longer than most of the other area programs, 16 weeks. The summer session starts May 6th and runs until August 19th. On average, it's about $30/class session making it slightly more expensive than other local competitors. (Specifically Music Together across the street and LINX.) The class size however will be smaller, which may be better for some children. 

Overall I enjoyed our little adventure at Kidville. The space feels very fresh and fun and it's totally deceiving to see how far back the space goes. Kidville also offers birthday party packages that make it easy for family and friends to just show up and enjoy the event. A hair salon is coming soon, but I can't guarentee your child will want to get out of the adorable airplane chair after their hair cut is done!

Happy playing!

About the Author
Emily Roach is the writer/owner of Random Recycling, a blog focused on green living for modern families. She lives in Needham with her husband, two children, and is expecting baby number-three this summer. She loves to cook, garden and spend time at the beach. Kidville allowed complimentary access to their location to help facilitate this review. All opinions shared here are my own. 

Palettes Natick Review and Giveaway!

Written by Emily Roach

When was the last time you painted?  Not color-by-number, or painting alongside your child.  Real painting on a canvas.  Maybe never, as was the case for me.

My Parent Talk playgroup chose Palettes Natick for our June Mom's Night Out. Nikki Myers suggested it, and many of us jumped on the chance to be a little creative.  Eleven of us got together to enjoy a fun night of painting, cocktails, and old-school girly music. (Think Dirty Dancing tunes)

We got step-by-step instruction on how to create the Mod Flowers painting.  Everyone in the class paints the same thing, yet they each came out slightly different.  We even spied on what looked like professionals in the class who created hardwood floors in their paintings.

My work in progress of Mod Flowers

I think the best advertising is the other pictures up on the walls.  There were so many that I wanted to come back and paint...lobsters, buoys, boats.  See a theme here?

If you are looking for a new place for a girls' night out, check out Palettes in Natick center.  There are also kid friendly painting opportunities.  Who wouldn't want to move the painting mess out of your house?!

We have a $70 gift certificate to giveaway to one of our members!  Please enter through Rafflecopter below.  Contest is open to Parent Talk members only and is open until midnight, July 27th.  I'm sure our playgroup will be entering so we have a good reason to head back in the fall!

a Rafflecopter giveaway
Are you looking for a playgroup? Check out the current assortment here to find one to fit your child's age. 


About the Author
Emily lives in Needham with her husband Jim and two children.  After working in retail for 10 years, she decided to stay home with the kids and bake.  Emily is also engaged in the world of social media, helping both Parent Talk Marketing and Needham Farmers Market. She also writes the blog Random Recycling: Green Living for Modern Families.